One Rural Women's Story

Talk things through women to women with wire

One Rural Women's Story

CALLER:

My husband is always abusing and threatening me. I do the books and accounts at home for his business as well as look after the house and my two children aged 3 and 18 months. My husband takes the car to work and rings me several times a day to check on what I am up to. He doesn't let me have any money of my own - not even housekeeping. If I want to buy something myself I have to ask him for it and often he won't give me any. He has never hit me, though he did break a window once when he was angry. If his dinner is not on the table when he comes in the door he calls me 'lazy bitch' and gets angry. Then at night, he demands me sex whenever he wants to, whether I feel like it or not.

WIRE:

No-one deserves to live like this. You are undertaking great responsibilities caring for two very young children as well as sharing the running of the business. Unfortunately many marriages are not a partnership, but are marked by threats, fears and putdowns. Your husband sounds very controlling. Feeling trapped at home can be very personally damaging to one's self esteem. There are ways through this situation. You have taken a major step by speaking about your situation. This takes great courage. Feelings of fear and entrapment are strong signs of violence in a marriage. In your case you have been exposed to a range of emotional, financial, verbal and sexual abuse. Demanding sex against your will is also illegal. Keeping yourself safe is the key. Speak to those friends and family members who are likely to listen rather than offer advice. Specialist services such as The Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Service (Melb)on 1800 015 188 or 9373 0123 and the Centre Against Sexual Assault (Melb) on 1800 806 292 or 9344 2210 will listen and explore your options. Of course, for further support and information WIRE is only a phone call away. Breaking the isolation and obtaining support are the steps in overcoming your position.

This story is based on the real questions women ask WIRE.